with the skill
**Diagnosis: B.** You already have a voice and a position: founder-built, tired of chasing money, mildly sarcastic about dashboards. I kept your vocabulary ("sick of," "nagged," "evenings back") and changed very little.
## Revised hero
**Headline:** Your invoices should chase themselves.
**Subhead:** We got sick of chasing clients for money, so we built invoicing that does it for us. Invoices go out when the work ships. Late payers get nagged. You get your evenings back.
**CTA:** Try it free
## What changed and why
**Headline.** This is the one real edit. "Doesn't need X. It needs Y." is the most recognizable AI-copy shape, and readers who spot it start discounting the claims around it. The new line states the outcome directly and passes the "Now you can…" test: now you can have invoices chase themselves. If the dashboard jab matters to you, I'd move it into body copy further down the page rather than keep it in the headline.
**Subhead.** I changed "the thing" to "invoicing." Your reader should know the product category by the end of the first sentence, and right now they only learn it by inference from sentence two. Everything else stays. The short sentences ("Late payers get nagged.") are how you talk, and the last line is a concrete benefit rather than a slogan.
**CTA.** I left it alone. "Try it free" is fine, and it gets better if it says what they'll do. If the free plan lets them send a real invoice, "Send your first invoice free" is stronger. If it's a trial, "Start my free trial" is more accurate.
## Options if you want to test headlines
Show the rest (9 more lines)
- **A (recommended):** Your invoices should chase themselves. It's concrete and shows the mechanism.
- **B:** Stop chasing clients for money. This uses your own pain language and is the plainest version.
- **C:** Keep your original. It has the most personality, and the contrast structure is its only drawback.
## What I need from you
- `[NEED: what "ships" means]`: What triggers the invoice? A task marked done, a project-tool integration, a milestone? Naming it in the subhead ("when the task is marked done in Asana") would be the strongest line on the page.
- `[NEED: proof]`: One real number from actual users (days-to-paid before and after, hours saved per month) would do more than any rewrite. I won't invent one.
- `[NEED: CTA terms]`: Confirm whether it's a free plan or a trial, and whether a card is required. If no card is needed, add "No card required" under the button.